Happy Weekend!

Obviously I've had no time to come and visit here this week.  The services for my brother-in-law were Monday, and this past weekend, as well as a lot of this week, have been emotional, hectic, and sometimes difficult to get through.  Yes, he lived a nice long life.....but he still left us before we were ready to lose him.  It will take time to adjust.

I've not had as much time to 'contemplate' Me during all of this, but am certain I will be 'waiting' there waiting for the realizations, as soon as I have time to devote to that again.  I think I have moved beyond the next 'rise in the road' sometime over the last month to several weeks.  I don't know why, but I feel stronger in myself.  I've noticed that those few moments that I would allow myself to become 'fearful' that my family was letting go of those special emotions we had built over the years, well, they've become less and less.  I think that is because I 'feel' stronger in myself, and therefore they fear has less power.  Or at least I hope that is what it is.

I did read a column/newsletter that I get, and it touches on this same journey that many people take in their lifetime.  Lol, sometimes at very different times, and sometimes many different times.  Thought I would put it here for you to read.  Hope it edifies you like it enhanced my world too!  It is by the Daily OM.

November 10, 2011 Who Am I The Heart Of Unknowing The question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit if given the chance to unfold. At some point in our lives, or perhaps at many points in our lives, we ask the question, “Who am I?” At times like these, we are looking beyond the obvious, beyond our names and the names of the cities and states we came from, into the layers beneath our surface identities. We may feel the need for a deeper sense of purpose in our lives, or we may be ready to accommodate a more complex understanding of the situation in which we find ourselves. Whatever the case, the question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit. It can send us on an exploration of our ancestry, or the past lives of our soul. It can call us to take up journaling in order to discover that voice deep within us that seems to know the answers to a multitude of questions. It can draw our attention so deeply inward that we find the spark of spirit that connects us to every living thing in the universe. One Hindu tradition counsels its practitioners to ask the question over and over, using it as a mantra to lead them inevitably into the heart of the divine. While there are people who seem to come into the world knowing who they are and why they are here, for the most part the human journey appears to be very much about asking this question and allowing its answers to guide us on our paths. So when we find ourselves in the heart of unknowing, we can have faith that we are in a very human place, as well as a very divine one. “Who am I?” is a timeless mantra, a Zen koan ultimately designed to lead us home, into the part of our minds that finally lets go of questions and answers and finds instead the ability to simply be.

Happy Friday!

And I have nothing that is being 'called' forth out of me.  So there will be no words from me this day.

Except figure out who you are and go forth and be them ON PURPOSE!  Until!

Where is your heart? Where's your treasure?

"Time is at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions." --John Randolph

Boy is this a true statement.  Never is it brought home more fully than when you lose someone you love and enjoy spending time with.  Today we lost my brother-in-law.  My husband's oldest brother.  Probably the sibling he was the most like, and the closest too.  We had become aware in the last eight months that he had developed some serious illness, so we made sure that we didn't 'put off' seeing him or spending time with him.  And yet, while we knew this day would come eventually, we were still not prepared for it.  Especially my husband.  

A potent reminder to think very carefully about how you spend your time, so you have it to spend with those you most value and love.  One day, there will be no more days for you to get to enjoy with them anymore.  I have a list of things that I allow to be time-stealers.  That keep me from spending time with those who appreciate me and value my company, and vice-versa.  Today that changes.  I hope if anybody does see my words today, that they do the same.  Whatever petty differences you may have allowed to come between you and others you have loved, think about whether they are truly that important.  Because I have relationships where we both have allowed things to come between us, and it has lasted so long, that I don't think we can change it now.  The love has been banked to have almost no embers left.

And real love is not something we want to let go of lightly....nor your moments of this life to just any kind of time-stealer.  Choose wisely for both of these.

Veering Off My Blogging Course...

It has become apparent that it is very difficult to make sure you blog every day, even if you are only making the effort during the week.  Here it is, almost bedtime, with a few household things that still need to get done, and I haven't even looked at blogs today.  Especially mine.  That's definitely NOT what I wanted this endeavor to be.

I wanted it to be a 'safe' place to explore how I felt, looked at life, and figure out in the process, where I'm going from here.  The 'every week day' agenda I gave myself feels as if I've pressured myself into 'performing' on here.  Which sorta makes me smile....since I'm pretty sure if anybody who knows anything about blogs, read mine, they'd say I've been doing the 'farthest thing' from actually giving a good performance. :-))  So I'm gonna restructure.  I'm not going to tell myself I have a certain 'time element' to post within.  Or try to make themes for my blogging topics.  I'm going to post when I have a few moments to do so.

And I am just going to type about what I think.  Not about life in general or to share my great thoughts.  But to capture some of the thoughts that run through my head sometimes.  There are lots of them, sometimes.....unfortunately.  And I would like to lasso a few of them to 'focus' on my future.  Not long range plans or what I want to be when I grow up....not sure that is ever going to happen.  But rather be able to focus them to figure out what I want to do in the short range.  How I want to guide my life, as I continue on this journey.

I AM at a place where I will be making some decisions in my life soon.  Choosing among the 'forks in my road.'  I'd like to choose in a way that truly serves what is deep inside of me, and takes me where I want to go.  So I'm going to say 'good night' and get ready for bed.  And you'll see me when you see me.  (smile) I really think the likelihood of actually having a real reader is going to be miniscule anyway.  But that is okay.  Doesn't mean I still can't accomplish my goal.  I'm going to keep imagining the You who is reading.  And I do have a great imagination.

Happy 11-1-11

Happy 11-1-11....lol, sometimes it takes the smallest things to bring a smile to your face!  Lol, just wait until next week and we all get to live the day 11-11-11...how much fun will that be!  I hope you all had a lovely Halloween.  It is one of my favorite holidays.  None the evil, yucky, gross kind, but the fun, slightly spooky, enjoyable kind!  Of course, my house was totally decorated the way I like it....and not ONE trick or treater!  Lol, I hope one day I get to live in a place where we get to have some people who actually don't live in fear and actually go around their neighborhood to trick or treat!!!


I'm not sure I have much to say or talk about today.  I had posted some stuff, but had gotten way off base from my intentions for this blog.  The idea that I had to get on here and post, even if I wasn't inspired, forced me along a route I really wasn't ready to travel on here.  So I saved the information to my note file, and we'll see if there is a purpose to that meandering in the future.


Meanwhile, I think I'll just cut it short and sweet and let this wonderful 'date' stand on its own.  I'm still trying to figure out how I am going to get better at my writing skills when it is doubtful anybody will be reading this, much less someone with some qualifications to give advice.  But I'll keep throwing it out to the universe and see what pops us!  And until that happens....or I get inpired....ENJOY!